Agony of an introvert

I could have written this post a long time ago but I kept on holding back, I don’t know why? I feel like a forlorn soul lost in the vast universe, hoping to make some difference.

Blessed with a set of parents who are ever willing to sacrifice everything they have for our (me and my siblings) education, we have been raised to have our individual voice and choice. I have always been a brilliant student and it was deemed my responsibility to achieve higher roles in society. But my parents provided me complete freedom to choose my career.

I remember my choice to opt for engineering and went on to become a technical professional, which seemed to me the most pragmatic choice at the moment. I love the friendly chatter with my colleagues and the innovative ideas. I love discussing the latest technology trends and newest smart phone applications. I like being the lively self when I am with my friends, but I can be highly introverted at times, almost like an island.

With time I have come to realize that I have a creative streak that tends to lend itself to paint a few strokes. I love the time when I paint; it is my retreat from all the stressors in my life. I also love to sing and believe I have a beautiful voice but I have no professional training at all. I have also come to realize that I love to be my own boss and lead with ethics.

Hence I have decided to take a sabbatical from my tech job. It is very recent that I started writing and hoping to make it big in the freelance world. But I feel sometimes the words are trapped in my head and refuse to come out on paper, I think it is because I am an introvert. My life has been filled with obstacles so far but looks like I am a hard nut to crack. I refuse to give up and get going.

Why is it that we introverts have such a hard time asking for help? We are not vampires hidden in a closet ready to attack but someone who seeks recluse in a book, a cup of coffee and head phones while commuting in public transport. I speak less because I think more and the few words that come of my mouth are intelligently spoken. No, I am not trying to be arrogant here but I am tired of people misunderstanding my silence for something else. My friends seek my opinion in a variety of matters because they know they will receive genuine advice.

We introverts conquer the world with our silence, and I take pride in being one.